fizz out

24 10 2006

Today my three best friends met each other for lunch to pig out, catch up on and whine about our lives. I called them and spoke to them for a good twenty minutes, feeling as though they were just there beside me while they were delivering the same lecture on men and how to deal with them. A litany we’ve reused numerous times on the same issues but on different men ( or boys).


I’ve been here almost five months and there is no doubt in my mind that I love it here. But occasionally, usually when I find out that my family or my best friends went out or that one of our dogs will have a baby (seriously…), I start to miss the life I had at home. I start to feel impatient and scared that I may be putting my life on hold because everything seems so temporary and unknown right now. But then what is security really? Where is the beauty and excitement in knowing where you’ll be exactly ten years from now, of having your whole life mapped out before you? I honestly don’t see myself settling permanently anywhere at this point in time and I haven’t found anything that I’d like to do for the rest of my life.


I’ve learned a lot about myself in those five months… I realized that I’m really a tough loner. I value the time I spend by myself and thoroughly enjoy being alone. And this mood usually kicks in at night, when I’d like nothing more than to be alone in my room to read or to write, after being gregarious and perky the whole day (which can get so exhausting!). I also learned that I love cooking BUT only if it were the only thing I had to do in a day. After a full day in the office and a slew of tiring post-work chores and rituals, I find the idea of making a sandwich for dinner more appealing than cooking or washing an entire starter kit of cutlery, pots and pans. And most important of all, I learned (and am still in the process of living this wisdom) that life is too short to let the excitement and wonder of not knowing fizz out and deaden you and turn you into an anal-retentive, paranoid, control-freak manang hehehe.

****

Because I’ve been ranting so much the past few days, let me try and make this space a bit more socially-aware. Can everyone please make the effort to watch AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH or at least read about climate change? The point is not to make you take sides, politicized (everything is political anyway!) or guilty. The point is that it is real, it is happening whether or not you read about it and that there is something we can do that won’t even cost us our money, our ideologies nor our precious calories.

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2 responses

26 10 2006
aileen

hey you free spirited friend! musta? Until when are you staying there? Saw your pictures in Sydney. It was great! Must be your new toy huh? 😀 Hope to see you soon back here! ingat!

26 10 2006
anto

we’re growing up! 🙂 sandwhich, yum!

miss yah girl! 🙂

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